Monday, February 8, 2010

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THE PREFACE

Adieu, Adieu! yon silver night sky,
For 'tis tonight that I dare to ask why,
It is that I only now say a fair hello,
To the man I am and do not know.
A self portrait of sorts must all artists do,
Whether or not they know exactly who,
They are inside when the brush dips in,
The paint of life from wither all begin.
Yet here shall rest a medley of rhymes,
That act as a portrait detailing my crimes,
Against my self for which I do so revel,
While reveling beside me sits the Devil.
For I have little idea of the man I am,
So through this poem I shalt try to exam.

THE PORTRAIT PAINTED

He was born to a Mother and Father proud,
And so a cloud of pride did enshroud,
This outcast, this pariah as he grew,
Into the child who so little knew.
As a boy born of freedom so oft' does,
He had nary a sense what struggle was.
At the year four, his parents so split,
From the vows to which they did commit.
And so this boy would know a broken home.
As a childhood home that was his own.
Too young to know what to make thereof,
This apparent abandonment of true love,
He would float throughout spans of time,
In his imagination so sublime.

His Brother who was his senior two years,
Would so feed off his younger's fears,
In response to the lack of figure Father,
The older would take upon himself the bother,
Of teaching and guiding our poem's subject,
Through youth in hopes of being correct,
When it came to the life he knew nothing of,
Nay, he was but two years in age above,
Our boy, so what could he possibly know,
About the knowledge he tried to bestow.
For now our boy was without two things;
The Brother of Princes. the Father of Kings.
Now to his mother he looked and prayed,
And to her side he loyally stayed.

In this pattern he sailed through youth,
Not knowing the fiction from the truth.
Out of many schools he was wretched,
Due to how his Mother's dollar stretched.
So friends were a pleasure not to be had,
By this child whose thoughts were sad.
When his age into double digits crashed,
His awareness of life left him abashed.
Within a few years a girl showed to the boy,
That after all this still to be had was joy,
From relations with people besides those,
That live with he and that he knows.
T'was a new era for our tortured subject,
That in the part following we will upon reflect.

For the next few years and years beyond,
A new style of life of which he grew fond,
Was that of one he should have known before,
And to make up time he began to explore,
At a pace perhaps some would deem risky,
That involved vodka, gin and whiskey.
Before reaching twenty years of age,
Against the machine he deemed fair to rage,
And so his few friends began to wane,
Leaving him to roam his own domain,
Within a psyche diseased from the start,
That should have taken notes from his heart.
Ay! 'Tis here our child became a man detached,
From his future ahead and his past snatched.

No stranger to lust but one to new love,
He grew fast into a being devoid of,
Social skills that would be needed soon,
In his broken life's quarter life swoon.
Caught in a web of anxiety and hate,
He found it increasingly hard to relate,
To those around him in school and play,
That seemed to effortlessly show and display,
The skills that were needed from one his age,
To preform on the unforgiving adolescent stage.
There wasn't a woman he failed to want,
But all he wanted seemed to flaunt,
The fact that other men clearly waived,
What these women so clearly craved.

After knowing many women abound,
And drinking many spirits around,
He began to wonder what the purpose was,
To this life. A thought he thought because,
Nary an answer had been proposed to he,
Who was never given a guarantee,
That life would give those who longed,
A reason to forgive those who wronged,
He when he was to young and did wonder
If man was held criminal for every blunder.
Through many a phase our man sped through,
And many an experience he did accrue.
Tis time that we bid fair adieu,
To the past we have fallen into.

PART II, coming soon.... if you so care, to follow through...

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

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This was written over the course of a few hours during which I posed for a photo shoot as an 1800's Absinth endorsing writer and muser. I hammered away on a 1894 Underwood typewriter, which turned out to have a rather steep learning curve when the typist is accustomed to 'delete' buttons and 'edit undo' functions. Never the less, I powered through and managed to hunt and peck out the following stanzas. Now, it must be said, being a lover of authenticity, and a enthusiast of all things spirited, I did, whilst in the middle of the photo shoot, enjoy a glass or more of the traditional one part spirit, two parts water with a burnt sugar cube rendering a cloudy yet potent transport for the green fairy; Absinthe. When I came to the next day this is what I found on the tea stained paper which was wretched out of the cold dead hands of the Underwood at the end of the shoot. (unaltered)

"Never Titled" or "The Sugar Cube"

There goes all my money like dust in the wind,
Up in the air.
Left shoulder down, right shoulder up,
It's just not fair.
A man summons a cab, a singer summons a note,
A skier the snow, the sea captain his boat.
A date summons his train and a child his toy,
A soldier the action and a priest ever joy.
Deserts summon rain as it's crosser his water,
The farmer his crop, the mother her daughter.
The dog companionship, the debater the contrary,
But Alas! The writer, above all, The Green Fairy.

That was a poem you may like it or not,
If you don't, then well join the lot.
Nay, I have never claimed nor have stated,
With a large fan base my thoughts are related.
High numbers aren't the best offer,
Don't believe me? Go ask the golfer.
Tis better to have a devoted few,
Than it is to watch fandom undue.
Ay! For peoples admiration is so soon,
Harkened back to face it's doom.

written under the influence of 'La Fee Verte' by,
jeffc

Saturday, January 9, 2010

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It may be short, but E.M Forester's science fiction tale "The Machine Stops" is no less relevant or, dare I say, clairvoyant. Written in 1909 when there were still more horse drawn carriages on the road than automobiles, Lincoln was still President and the concept of the radio was still a castle in air, the predictive E.M. Forester was taken more for a nut than a visionary. However, over 100 years down the bumpy road of technology, "The Machine Stops" reads more like a modern day cautionary tale than it does a sci-fi classic. Here are a few excerpts from the 1909 text. Read 'em and weep (for the future that is).


"The clumsy system of public gatherings had been long since abandoned; neither Vashti nor her audience stirred from their rooms. Seated in her armchair she spoke, while they in their armchairs heard her, fairly well, and saw her, fairly well."

(YES, 100 years ago, before a computer had even been discussed or thought about, E.M. was inventing SKYPE in the pages of his novelette)

"And of course she had studied the civilization that had immediately preceded her own - the civilization that had mistaken the functions of the system, and had used it for bringing people to things, instead of for bringing things to people. Those funny old days, when men went for change of air instead of changing the air in their rooms!"

"Few travelled in these days, for, thanks to the advance of science, the earth was exactly alike all over."

"People never touched one another. The custom had become obsolete, owing to the Machine."

"Each infant was examined at birth, and all who promised undue strength were destroyed. Humanitarians may protest, but it would have been no true kindness to let an athlete live; he would never have been happy in that state of life to which the Machine had called him; he would have yearned for trees to climb, rivers to bathe in, meadows and hills against which he might measure his body. Man must be adapted to his surroundings, must he not?"

"It was naked, humanity seemed naked, and all these tubes and buttons and machineries neither came into the world with us, nor will they follow us out, nor do they matter supremely while we are here."

"Cannot you see, cannot all you lecturers see, that it is we that are dying, and that down here the only thing that really lives in the Machine? We created the Machine, to do our will, but we cannot make it do our will now. It has robbed us of the sense of space and of the sense of touch, it has blurred every human relation and narrowed down love to a carnal act, it has paralysed our bodies and our wills, and now it compels us to worship it...and if it could work without us, it would let us die."

"Those who still wanted to know what the earth was like had after all only to listen to some gramophone, or to look into some cinematophone."

"No one confessed the Machine was out of hand. Year by year it was served with increased efficiency and decreased intelligence. The better a man knew his own duties upon it, the less he understood the duties of his neighbour, and in all the world there was not one who understood the monster as a whole."

"It was otherwise with the failure of the sleeping apparatus. That was a more serious stoppage. There came a day when over the whole world the beds, when summoned by their tired owners, failed to appear. It may seem a ludicrous matter, but from it we may date the collapse of humanity."

"But there came a day when, without the slightest warning, without any previous hint of feebleness, the entire communication-system broke down, all over the world, and the world, as they understood it, ended."

'She crawled over the bodies of the dead. His blood spurted over her hands.'
"Oh, tomorrow - some fool will start the Machine again, tomorrow."
"Never," said Kuno, "never. Humanity has learnt its lesson."

Nostradamus; eat your precognitive heart out.

writing, in fear of the machine and under the influence,
jeffc

Monday, January 4, 2010

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"Dum Vivis Ama"
a poem by jeff campagna

Man hath achieved a great many things,
Empires fallen he hath built for kings.
He hath trod the earth and sail'd it's skies,
And his every mistake achieves reprise.

Prithee, Man hath not an angel’s wings,
Nay, he is tied down with material things.
He shalt wax and wane 'till the day he dies,
About his achievements, truths and lies.

Man hath scaled to a great many heights,
Mountains of iron and oceans of lights.
Methinks he got lost upon his quest,
‘Ere he would have found some godly rest.

Man hath wrought a symphony of fights,
While the philosopher thinks and writer writes.
Sure as the wind dost blow west,
There must be an achievement that is best.

My greatest achievement one may guess,
Is some form of material gain or success.
Nay, it's not a thing that can be taken or sold,
Nor can this thing ever grow old.

It is something that if thee possessed,
The meaning of life would be egressed.
Ay! Tis' worth more than fields of gold,
My greatest achievement is the love I hold.

Monday, December 21, 2009

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I feel homeless, lost in the haze of empty words. Why must a muse be a woman? I have found love, but with it, didn't come my muse.


Let's start with my biting obsession with words, obviously of the English origin. It's a recent thing. Since I started actually reading to be specific. Until about four, maybe five months ago, I hadn't actually read a piece of fiction, front to back. Hard to believe? It is for me as well. Sure I fought through Bill Shakespear in high school in an out-loud class setting, and before that, even lied through many a book report in elementary school. I would read the first page, and the back cover. Then I would pick a few lucky pages from the middle, and with them, I would formulate the most asinine, but seemingly believable essay. After high school I would read a few self help books, which did little but manufacture a raging inferiority complex. Long after, I would fall into the blind oblivion of creative commitment and the art of story telling. So, I went right to the source. The Novel.


I picked up "Barbary Shore", Norman Mailer's second and relentlessly critically panned novel. I hadn't read "The Naked And The Dead", which separated me from the majority of those who had read Mailer. And thus, I had nothing to compare too. So, as a result of that naivety, I quite enjoyed "Barbary Shore". But, not for reasons one might imagine. In point of fact, I didn't even really comprehend the story, partly due to my limited knowledge of world politics, past and present. But, what I did enjoy were the words. I'll repeat; I enjoyed the words. The way he used words to explain things in such an eloquent, poetic and descriptive fashion. The way he manipulated the English language, as if it didn't own him, he owned it.


Since, I have been through other Mailer books, even read Faulkner and Dostoevsky. And let me tell you, I will never, ever, turn back. At this point, it isn't simply the words of authors that bite at my mind. It's everything. A traffic sign signaling construction, a salon advertising services, a radio personality pitching a new single or even the man behind the counter at the gas bar. Why did they choose the words they did? What drove them to do so? How did those words find themselves in their vocabulary. Do I know these words? Should I know these words? Could I use them better?


Most of the time, when this obsession with vowels and syllables strikes, it's due to, if not Mailer, a film. And not just crazy elusive works of John-Luc Godard or Andy Kaufman. It can be while watching pop like "Definitely Maybe" or "Enchanted". The words they use. It makes me want to use them too. It makes me want to create. I want to have the same fun and the same liberty with the English language that they had. I boil with desire.


And like many artists, I need a consistent vehicle to translate those very desires into works. Or do I? Do I really need a muse? Would Woody Allen survive with Scarlet Johanson? Would Lennon have written the things he did without the presence of Yoko? I have often yearned for a muse and never been given one. Often they are women but such is not the case for myself. I have found the love of my life, she is everything a man could want in this world, but perhaps not everything a writer could want. This has left me searching for a muse. And, in fact, I am infinitely relieved my love is not my muse, because as I migrate further and further down the rabbit hole, she would soon become more a muse than a love.


But, I am left with a sort of disconnect. Every minute of every day I am compelled to write. Not a dream of mine. In fact, I was always a very poor reader and writer, and, in my opinion, still am. I had tutors, special education and even extra curricular 'English-as-a-second-language' courses. But, it's a force I can't ignore, and until it leaves me, I will accept it. The disconnect being, a constant influx of inspiration and content but with no muse to transport it to the fleeting masses. Obsession is the gasoline to which I have no vehicle.


Forgive the grammar and spelling, I am into a few.


writing under the influence,

jeffc

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

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"From The Mekong and On"

NOTE* Written over the course of a three month journey through Southeast Asia in the late summer of 2009, primarily while sailing on the slow churning muddy waters of the Mekong Delta.

We are driftwood floating in a never stopping,
inconsiderate river of water translucent
with time and mud.

The water is old, the water is new and no matter
how much we kick and push we remain debris
in a subtle flood.

We float to the surface and we dip down below,
the tide rises, we kick, we push, the river swells
with tears and fears and blood.

The flora, the fauna it all seems plain as I search
around in vain. There I realize, floating in the mud,
she is the flower, pedal, stem and bud.



We swam rivers of time and chased tomorrow
down the current. We built rafts out of promises
and it's sails our of fear.

We laughed sorrow and cried joy and with every
sob the river grew as if we carried a storm in
every tear.

Our world grew and shrunk at the same time,
we lived in mansions of glory and shacks of wine,
year after year after year.

Our love crawled like wild flowers on the wild
sandy plains. Our knowledge the food that fed
those flowers far and near.



Our relationship was a work of art. The world
was our infinite canvas and our love was the
paint.

We got lost in each other and found our way.
Together we walked the path of reward and
not of complaint.

We raced forward and swore we'd never look
back. We ran towards a golden tomorrow, with
every stride our past grew faint.

It was perfect. We were a silent scream.
A freshwater lake of freedom.
A rebellious saint.

written under the influence by
jeffc